Right now I am sitting outside. There is a bit of a nip in the air. A few stars are peaking out of cotton clouded night sky. It just rained, sprinkled really, so the air smells divine.
There is a stillness that takes over in the evening. A hush if you will. A feeling as if all is well. You can hear the crickets and an occasional dog barking. A car every now and then as someone finally makes home the journeys end for the day. In the distance you can hear even more cars frantically trying to make it somewhere. But here in my neighborhood all is well. On the surface anyways.
No one really knows what goes on behind closed doors. Family dynamics are an enigma to everyone. But no matter what it is still family. Good or bad.
All I do know is that I am at that time in my life when I appreciate the early evening quiet. The peace that never seems to stop. It does get a bit lonely. Jimmy goes to bed so early for work and I sit by myself a lot. I am not complaining. It is our family dynamics so to speak.
But here is the part where I started. When the kids were all home and the house was filled with endless everything, laughter, talking, bickering, fighting and then more laughter, you know alive, I looked forward to that part of the evening when all the children were snug in their beds and a stillness would fall over the house.
There was a knowing that they were safe and secure. I thanked God that He had kept us through one more day. There was peace. Then we would do it all again the next day.
As any one of my kids or anyone who really knows me will tell you I do not like the quiet for too long. I cannot sleep without the TV on. I mean I can but it is not my comfort zone to do so. I don't know why it just is.
What I do know though is the times when the TV is off and the stillness permeates my soul there is a refreshing that takes place and I always always think of the verse that tells me "Be still and know that I am God." I can't do much else in moments like tonight. I have to acknowledge that He is the Peace giver, the Lover of my soul. The serenity that knowing that can not hardly be expressed.
But now to my question. Which one do I appreciate more? The stillness of now because I have made it to the point in my life where the stillness penetrates my very soul or the stillness of a house after the hecticness of life has been banished and weary bones fall into rest? I think I have an appreciation for both. For they both had what I needed it for at that particular time in my life.
I miss my babies. I miss knowing all is well with them when so many times I know it isn't. I guess that is why God gives us more stillness in this time of our lives so that we can spend more time praying for them and being reminded that God is God.
Dear Lord, I pray that you would watch over my children and their spouses and all my grandbabies. Keep them safe and let them know You and feel Your presence in the still of the evening and all through the night. Amen!!
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